This is my longest post I have done. If you read anything read the last paragraph that is bolded. However if you have some time please read. It may be information that might be useful for someone you know in the future.
Thanks~ KimI think this week made a lot of people think. I tend to not care too much about the struggles celebrities say they have. You know what I mean, “I was teased for my weight” or “My parents didn’t love me” – these sorts of headlines that I feel are contrived for the sole purpose of publicity and aren’t truly real “struggles” average everyday people do encounter and overcome. However, the suicide of Robin Williams – this one got to me in a very deep and profound way. Maybe it’s because one of our most beloved Americans stunned us with his decision to end his life or maybe it was because it was personal to me? Either way, if any good can come out of such a tragedy I hope it is that it is bringing the silent disease of depression to light in its’ darkest form. I imagine that most of the world is shocked that someone who could make us smile, laugh, love and seemed to have it all could be depressed. The bottom line is that depression can hit anyone and money, fame, prestige have nothing to do with avoiding it. The interesting thing is that he was loved by EVERYONE. There are very few celebrities in this day and age that everyone adores which is why I think it’s so shocking. I think that is what happens when you are dealing with comedic icons. They make us laugh and smile so we innately love them regardless of their flaws. All over the news today all you hear is talking heads discussing “what drives someone who has it all to take their own life? Why do they do it? What could they possibly be depressed about?” I don’t think anyone can understand unless they have bottomed out from depression and no matter the valor of their efforts can’t seem to bring themselves back up to the surface. I am guessing this is what happened. Rehab and all the other courageous efforts just couldn’t do the job so he couldn’t live that way any longer. It’s so heartbreaking to me not just for his family but for him as well. Depression is far more prevalent that we realize mainly because most don’t speak about it due to the stigma it carries. In fact it is said that men ages 45-65 are actually at 4 times great risk for suicide because they are more likely to keep these issues to themselves whereas more women will make the effort to reach out for help. For those that end their lives in lieu of their depression I don’t believe we should judge. I feel this way because their depression is so debilitating and crushing that I don’t believe it’s that they don’t care about what their loved ones will be dealing with afterwards, but rather they feel they are so beyond the point of being helped they believe they are relieving them of a burden in a way. I am not opting to start an argument, just offering an opinion. Why would I write about such a topic on my happy, loving blog all about kindness? I felt compelled to write about it because it was me at one time. Fortunately for me I didn’t sink so far down that suicide was the path but in hindsight I feel it could have been. I will never be sure why I chose to intervene before it got so bad it was irreversible but I am just one of the fortunate ones I suppose. I know the causes, why it compiled the way it did and the events that pushed me into that direction. For me, although private, it was very clear. However the thing I didn’t know is when those things occurred the lasting affect it can have and the path it can take. I met plenty of people that ended up like Robin Williams so in that aspect I consider myself incredibly lucky and blessed. Many people don’t even realize the depression they have sunk into until it is to the point of a crisis. If you feel this is you (on the verge or having a level of depression) there are some things you can do:
- Digital detox: it easier and easier for us to hide behind our iPads, computers, phones, you name it. Technology is great but it cuts us off from the human contact that we need for our mind and soul. Take a day or two to detox from these things and reconnect with friends any way you can
- Exercise: Endorphins. End of story. It has proven to chemically help ward off depression. It is not a cure-all but I speak from experience the benefits.
- Balance: Try and find a good balance in your life. Meditation, social time, family time, work in moderation and know where that balance was for you prior to depression
- Correct negative thinking: One literally has to hold up a STOP sign in their head and turn the negative talk around to something more productive. It’s not an easy feat but essential
- Sleep: Sleep helps your stress levels, mood, regenerates and rejuvenates your body. Clearly I haven’t mastered this one but I do try when I can
- Nutrition: when depressed you are inclined not to eat. Eat well, the right things to nourish your body and consult your Dr. on which vitamins will help your mood and well-being
- Try to continue to engage in social activities: again human interaction can never be underestimated. Many times you won’t feel like it but it is essential for improvement in depression.
- Be there: Remember my last post about The Gift of Time. I said these friends just sat there and sometimes said nothing. But it was the best thing they could have done.
- Try a small gesture: Call to just say you miss them or are thinking of them. Drop off some food or send a fun card. Offer to get them out of the house. Be encouraging and positive. It may not work but the valiant effort will be noted and appreciated
- Don’t judge or offer advice: Generally it is already coming from all angles. This could make things worse so the best thing to do is just to be as supportive as possible
- Be patient: Not everyone winds up feeling better like me, but not everyone ends up like Mr. Williams either. It takes a long time to process and work to the level in which you are capable in your depression. Could take weeks, could take years. Just continue to do the above and you can know you are doing everything you can.
Beautiful Kim. I too suffered from depression for many years and I contemplated suicide more times than I want to admit. A few years ago I also lost a dear friend to suicide and so with Robin Williams in the news it has opened a lot of wounds. We all have to remember that everyone we meet is fighting some battle and the best thing we can do for support is show them kindness. Thanks for reminding us. <3
Thank you Kim, for willing to be transparent and real. Beautifully said!
Beautiful piece, Kim. Thank you for opening your soul and sharing your story. I agree with you that happiness comes from making others happy. Turn your focus away from yourself and toward others. Be kind, lend a helping hand. No it may not solve all of your problems, but it is a step in the right direction. Hugs!
I read your piece as well this afternoon. Great blog entries you write. I agree, you just never know what someone’s story is so it’s best to always be kind and supportive.
Thanks Christine! 🙂
Thanks Geri. Very true. 🙂
So proud of you … your infinite smile project will touch so many that you will never know … keep remembering that this is happening and keep carrying on 🙂
Love to you,
Thee BEST and most genuine article I have read about Robin’s passing. No one understands the darkness and you shed a big light on it. I sit in darkness now. Wondering…..pondering how much more i can take at 48 years old.
I am sharing this in hopes that the hecklers and non-believers read this and hopefully it will open their mind some more. Thankyou for this. <3
Thank you so much, it means a lot to hear those words that it is reaching others. Please continue to follow the blogs and reach out whenever necessary! xo
Kim, I will never forget your words the first time we met. You were a huge part of my recovery. I want to say I wish we met on better terms but then knowing you wouldn’t have been as meaningful. Thank you for sharing. You are amazing!